Honey

I agree, spanking does not mean abusing. With some children, a look or tone of voice will work, with other, you have to get their attention first. I had both kinds. With kids, there are no guarantees, but I believe you are going to have more success with discipline than without. Besides, with 4 kids, if I hadn't had discipline and a routine, I would have had utter chaos!!

Chasing Hawk

I agree, parenting skills are sorely lacking in this day and age. Parents are too busy to raise their children. They don't want to be bothered with no ones problems but their own. Rampant drug use has a whole hell of a lot to do with the lack of discipline and the lack of social skills children need. We went to Redmond today, I must have seen 30 kids in Wally World, walking behind their parents texting away. And the clothes these kids were wearing...omg, some of those girls looked like little hookers, all made up skimpy clothes. When I see kids like that I think the parents need to be slapped back in to reality and do their job.

sandpat

Oh man...my Mom didn't have to spank...only give me that evil eye...stopped me in my tracks!!!!

Chasing Hawk

Are we related!!!??.....My mom had an evil eye too.

LOL

luvTooQuilt

Exactly.... I so agree with you...

C.Cal Quilt Girl

My parents had eyes in the back of their heads, and we were taught to behave, pretty sure they pulled every trick out of the bag to keep us in line there are 5 of us. Funny thing was all the neighbor kids liked hanging around and the parents were good with their kids coming over, knew they'd be watched and safe, wouldn't be allowed to get too far out of line and still have fun. Have all turned into responsible adults. Just never know, have seen too tough or too soft not work.
Most of the kids that have seen at the local school have volunteered at, are fairly well behaved, and some come from tough situations, know what is and is not acceptable.

Kas

I'm guessing he meant they were hit by their parents. There is a huge difference between being hit and being spanked. We got spankings on our bottoms only, never hit in the face, stomach or anywhere else. And my dad always used his hand. I used to feel so sorry for my friend who got her spankings with a belt. And on the back is abuse. There are only a couple of reasons for a spanking. One is willful disobedience (doing something right after being told not to) and backtalk. There is a cooling off period for the child to think about why they are getting a spanking and for the parent so it isn't more than just a swat. My mom never did the spanking because she was beaten by her mom and wasn't sure she could spank without getting carried away into abuse. Not everyone shoud spank.

ShowMama

Amen!

In fact, my two daughters have both thanked me for being a strict parent, giving them good values, and caring about the persons they were growing up to be.

redvette54

This thread got me thinking about what has happened with my stepchildren. The oldest was born when my hubby was 20, her mother didn't want her and gave her to him when she was only 2 weeks old. He was living about 1500 miles from his family and just didn't know what to do. So, he moved back home with his parents. Lucky for her, Grandma has been the only mother she has had. Then a few years later hubby met someone else. Again, the grandparents could see what kind of person she was and insisted the child stayed with them. His oldest just finished college and is dating a wonderful guy, has a great job. Hubby married and had 2 other children with the new girlfriend. She was lazy, wouldn't even get a part-time job to help, hubby had to work 2 jobs to make ends meet and didn't spend much time with the kids, as he was always working. Thir mother lied to the kids about everything, told them she never wanted them. This wasn't just hear say, but told to me by the kids. Of couse, they divorced, hubby tried to get the kids, but that was 17 years ago. Their mother re-married and had another child. The new baby was the favorite. I came into their lives when his son was 18 and daughter 15. The son had already been in alot of trouble and dropped out of school. He came to live with us. The daughter stayed with Mom, a state away. She wouldn't come to visit because I knew she was boy-crazy and wouldn't let her run the roads, like she did at home. By the time she was 16, she was pregant. Her mother, not wanting to deal with this, signed the papers, so she could marry the baby's father and then moved 1500 miles away before her grandson was born and has only seen him once. My poor stepdaughter is in a bad abusive marrage, works 2 jobs. We have begged her to leave and offered help. My husband goes and see's her and the baby, now almost 2, when her husband allows it. Since my stepson has been with us, he has gotten his GED, a job and just moved into his own appartment. I never had children of my own and I never tired to take the place of their mother, I demanded respect for my stepson while he was under my roof and expected him to get his GED, a job, and stay out of any kind of trouble. Sorry this got so long, my point is kids need love, stucture, and activies to keep busy. Parents are just that, not the kids best friend. Being a step-parent to these troubled kids has been hard work, but very rewarding, when I have become very close with my stepson and I'm proud of the things he has done.