Just read this
09-04-2010, 06:54 PM
#12
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bend, Oregon
Posts: 1,853
My mother was a horrible mother. She never told us she loved us, she never complimented us at all. She always criticized my sister and I. To say the least we were never close.
I swore that when I became a parent I would do everything opposite of my mother. My husband said I learned to be a good mother by horrible example. My daughters are the best daughters ever. They are my best friends. They are also productive adults. I am extremely proud of them. They did not grow up without rules and guidelines. But if they didn't like something to eat I didn't make them eat it. I told them daily that they were beautiful and I loved them. We did things together. I was always there for them.
My oldest daughter lives in Minneapolis and we talk daily. She is the district manager for a retail store and she is only 27. I am extremely proud of her.
My youngest daughter is in heaven with our Lord. She was the joy of my life and I miss her, but I know I will see her again someday. I also talk to her everyday.
I think love and involvement are what makes good kids. You have to be involved in your kids life. You have to show them love. Also there is no game plan to raise great kids. Every child and every parent is different. But love really does make a difference.
I swore that when I became a parent I would do everything opposite of my mother. My husband said I learned to be a good mother by horrible example. My daughters are the best daughters ever. They are my best friends. They are also productive adults. I am extremely proud of them. They did not grow up without rules and guidelines. But if they didn't like something to eat I didn't make them eat it. I told them daily that they were beautiful and I loved them. We did things together. I was always there for them.
My oldest daughter lives in Minneapolis and we talk daily. She is the district manager for a retail store and she is only 27. I am extremely proud of her.
My youngest daughter is in heaven with our Lord. She was the joy of my life and I miss her, but I know I will see her again someday. I also talk to her everyday.
I think love and involvement are what makes good kids. You have to be involved in your kids life. You have to show them love. Also there is no game plan to raise great kids. Every child and every parent is different. But love really does make a difference.
09-04-2010, 06:57 PM
#13
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: A Hop from Heaven, a Skip from Sanity and a Jump from the Good Life....
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by luv-e
luvtoquilt: I wish MORE mother's were mean like that nowdays.
Instead we have these spoiled, rude, young adults,nowdays.
You know the one's I'm talking about??
Instead we have these spoiled, rude, young adults,nowdays.
You know the one's I'm talking about??
Sometimes I wish someone would spank the parent for not correcting the bad behavior & enforcing respect!!!!
09-04-2010, 07:02 PM
#14
Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Camarillo, California
Posts: 35,242
Originally Posted by luvTooQuilt
I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.
But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.
My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.
We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?
The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.
She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.
By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.
Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.
As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.
My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.
Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.
Written by
Bobbie Pingaro ©1967
But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.
My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.
We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?
The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.
She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.
By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.
Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.
As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.
My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.
Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.
Written by
Bobbie Pingaro ©1967
09-04-2010, 07:08 PM
#15
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Jefferson City, missouri
Posts: 69
I work in a prison, just ask what no properly disciplining your children causes, people don't understand discipline is not beating your kids half to death, its teaching them how to respond to a situation, consequences for their actions, be it good or not, and how you expect for them to behave. I too had a horrable mother, fortunitly I was taken into a loving Foster Family, My "Mom & Dad" are the parents God allowed me choose to be my parents, almost 20 years later and I still call them "Mom & Dad"
09-04-2010, 07:31 PM
#16
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 31
What a timely topic!!! DD#1 just two hours ago told me how MEAN I am. Her and her sister were FOOLS today. Tonight was the last straw and when she refused to listen, I took away our activities for tomorrow (we were going to go to the park, to a Cheese Festival, and to Lincoln Log Cabin). Ooooooooh was she mad. Hitting me, kicking me, screaming and yelling. I stayed calm and waited until she settled down to discuss her behavior and why she had the consequence (she is 6). She has hit the age where she is challenging our every move, but we hold firm on all consequences (she finally comes off her grounding from her bike on Monday night). It is the only thing that works and I refuse to have her be like some of the kids in my classroom. Hopefully one day she will see it!
Jacki
Jacki
09-04-2010, 11:06 PM
#17
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188
We were mean parents too, the kids swore that when they got married and had kids that they would not make their kids work like slaves, go to school all the time when they were sick (bad hair days?) and eat stuff that was horrible (once one of them refused to eat eggs because they came from a chicken's butt) so she had her french toast on the table when she came to breakfast..got even madder when she discovered what made them so good..
Then both of them called me when they were adults, said that when they opened their mouths to talk to THEIR kids, they were horrified to hear MY voice come out!! They and their kids turned out good...oh, the oldest ones DID go to jail. After becoming a Physican's Assistant, she went into the family job, she is a guard in a Texas jail!! Youngest son was a cop till injured, oldest son is a guard/corrections officer in a southern CA prison. Youngest daughter is a school teacher. They see all the time what is the result of not correcting children early. And now we're friends. I was not their special friend when they were young, I was the Mother and Daddy was the father and we had to be strong for them so THEY would grow up the same.
Then both of them called me when they were adults, said that when they opened their mouths to talk to THEIR kids, they were horrified to hear MY voice come out!! They and their kids turned out good...oh, the oldest ones DID go to jail. After becoming a Physican's Assistant, she went into the family job, she is a guard in a Texas jail!! Youngest son was a cop till injured, oldest son is a guard/corrections officer in a southern CA prison. Youngest daughter is a school teacher. They see all the time what is the result of not correcting children early. And now we're friends. I was not their special friend when they were young, I was the Mother and Daddy was the father and we had to be strong for them so THEY would grow up the same.
09-05-2010, 12:15 AM
#18
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Boise. Idaho
Posts: 176
I use to be a yeller. I fought with my kids and somehow they won. One day, when they were about 15 & 16. i stopped yelling. I started reasoning with them. Suddenly they started using common sense. I since have chnaged how i am with little ones. I found at 2 if you tell them, example, if you thro a rock then we wont play outside. Now at 2 if they pick up the rock calmly ask do you remember what i said, and make them repeat. yes at 2....... then remind what will happen and let them make a choice....... watch what happens. I can take on 10 kids at the same age and all will listen to me with respect as i give them. LOL Parents always ask me ,, how do you do that. I say i dont!!!!! I gave them a choice and a concequence of their actions. Saying just dont cuz i said no isnt enuff. Its amazing how fights dissappear. When a 2 yr old wants to tho a fit teach them have it in your room. In your room you can beat the bed thro ur toys and scream BUT when u come out you will be done. Soon enuff the run to their bedroom close the door then have a fit. If your at the store have a choice for a fit in the store,,,,, stand to the side and tell them i will leave you in the cart ( like a foot from you) and go ahead and scream and just ask are ya done yet? When they dont get a reaction they stop. I hold up my hand when my grandbaby used to like to spit... i gave her a rag and u can spit all you want but i dont like it so until your done im not looking at you , Man they hate that, So anyway, i never yell or fight and i always win even tho they think they made the choice. Hope this helps some Moms make it thru the day.
09-05-2010, 01:14 AM
#19
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: western australia
Posts: 1,793
Originally Posted by cjomomma
I'm right there with you. Mine know what a spanking is and they know the look that says you have crossed the line.
you do not nead violence to keep kids at bay but you do nead disipline, and if that come in the form of a spnk on the bottom or taking there favourite toy away for a while so be it.
as cjomomma said they know the look when they have crossed the line and that is how it should be
09-05-2010, 02:10 AM
#20
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: martinsville Indiana
Posts: 4,461
I raised my daughter till she was 16. She was an honor role student, with a mean child spanking mom that had a leash wrapped around her. At the age of 16 she moved to her fathers. He didnt have rules, her grades dropped, she blew her college fund on nothing, and just got out of jail for helping run a meth lab. She called me on the phone when she was caught, again I was mean. I let her know how dissapointed I was and how she put my grandbaby in great danger, she cried and told me I was mean. To bad. Now that shes out of jail and trying to fix her life shes told me how she should've listen to me years ago and stayed at the old meanies house. Her father didn't care enough to make her mind, and he doesnt care enough now to call her and inspire her to stay on the right track. Not all kids need to be spanked, but if its needed its worth it.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Hosta
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
10
02-22-2011 05:46 AM
Butterfli19
Pictures
21
07-14-2009 03:32 AM
