Mine is off to college this year....and grew breasts like in 5th grade. :shock: It ended up working out for her though, because by middle school when the boys were boob-crazy she was already used to them.
We had simple rules about clothing, nothing too tight, no cleavage, no spaghetti strap tank tops. Wider tanks were ok, but rib knit is naturally tight, so I got outta that one! So, ultimately fitted tanks that kinda felt like heavy tee shirt material were ok. And when she grew (for her, in the boob department) eventually those tanks were not acceptable.
Makeup: Didn't let her until middle school, and we talked about how makeup was there to ENHANCE your natural beauty, not to be worn as a mask. Taught her how to pull off blue eyeshadow, and that meant no higher than the crease of the eyelid. Only tinted lipgloss, so the color was sheer and not clown-y. Told her she didn't need lip pencil to outline her lips, that's for lipstick to not bleed onto the skin for when you're old and wrinkly (OK, that was a wee lie, but it worked!)
KJ chose clear mascara, to just kinda groom and separate her lashes, but she had awesome lashes anyway. For those that use "real" mascara, talk about how thick and clumpy looks trashy, not pretty. Remember: ENHANCE your beauty, don't hide behind makeup.
Foundation: again, this is for older people to even out their skintone after years of living. A light moisturizer is perfect for teens.
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All of this takes some laying of groundwork, and being proactive. Tell her if she needs help and tips, you're there. You trust her to make decisions about her body and makeup, but you want her to look respectable. Make it clear that if you're uncomfortable about how she looks in the makeup department, you will ask her to wash her face. She may try again, but if she doesn't have time, she'll be going without. You probably WILL have to call her out a couple times. Same thing with clothing....and if she OWNS inappropriate clothing, it needs to be donated. It can't be ok to wear on the weekends but not ok to wear to school. If you find it inappropriate, slutty, offensive, etc...it's that way 100% of the time, kwim? If she's used her own money to get it, well....if she wants to keep wasting her money by buying inappropriate things, by all means...do so. She'll get tired of it real quick. Beware of the ploy: I'll just wear a sweatshirt (jacket, other shirt) over it. It's BS, for even the nicest of kids.
There was a period of time where KJ was trying to push the envelope and snuck out to school and "forgot" to redo herself as she left the house, and when we got home, I took the offensive article of clothing. And there were a few trying weeks in high school where she PURPOSEFULLY came home wearing clown makeup and by then I had to just laugh. After years of doing the right thing, she thought she could get my goat with sky-high blue eyeshadow and bubblegum pink lipstick. She looked so silly...I wish I'd had a camera. These things just happen and while the teen years are HORRIBLE.
HORRIBLE. ***HORRIBLE**
They do eventually go to college. And things are much better. Because the get to be fully responsible for their actions, and the consequences. :D