My husband tends to say I will learn you to do this or that. We say fur instead of for -I'll pay you fur that next week.
We also use warsh My mom uses Round Robin Hood Barn when she wants to express it is the long way around to do something.
That floors me or that slays me - meaning that surprises me or that shocks me or that is so funny!! It just floors me that she did that! ( I can't believe she did that!) or It floors me when Zach says he is stuck in Papa's bed! (meaning it is sooo funny when he says that!)