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Old 10-16-2010, 07:29 AM
  #60  
kellen46
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As a point of clarification here is an article I found in an obscure scientific journal. It might answer some of your questions.



Not a lot is known about the exact nature of black holes, and some
might postulate white holes, but it has recently been a great source
of study. Statistically many mini black holes have been detected near
or around homes where dedicated quilters live and gather. Rather an
anomalous finding does require further study. It seem to occur rather
more frequently in homes where a great deal of quilt-making happens
but the shopping to usage index of fabric is low. It seems that some
quilters and stitchers in general who allow gaps in their fabric
stash to occur set up a cosmic environment that fosters the creation
of a tiny black hole. This cosmological event will only grow larger
over time increasing the likely hood of a much larger event horizon
that could ultimately involve all of the known universe and beyond.
If two such stitchers should live in close distance of each other the
effect is increased exponentially. To slow or prevent such growth it
is necessary to fill the gaps with newer fabric, there by preventing
hopefully any development of the danger to begin with. This
phenomenon has also been observed in a slightly lesser degree with
buttons, trims, threads, books and magazines. It is also known that a
good preventative measure is to keep one or more very high quality
sewing machines in the immediate area.
It has been postulated that persons who embark on a course of
becoming gathers of large quantities of fabric have acquired a
special duty. To whit they should be required by all standards of
ethical behavior to keep holes in their fabric stashes from
happening at all. Despite any hardship to themselves and their
immediate family this course of action is highly recommended. All
spouses, partners and children have a duty not only to the human race
and the planet at large but to the entire universe and life it's self
to point out when such shortages seem to be appearing and offer to
assist the quilter to acquiring more fabric. Not only will this help
alleviate the problem but their ultimate reward will be an outpouring
of quilted objects for their use-age. All family members need to be
aware that how their needs are met, IE. food, clothing, housing,
transportation, and entertainment needs are only there in furtherance
to the goal of preventing black holes from appearing in their homes.
Further study of this phenomena is highly indicated and it may be
that in the future information gleaned will indicate the need for
more quilt shops in general and an increase in the availability of
high quality and appealing fabric at a low to reasonable cost per
yard. In addition home plans will need to include a large and well
lit studio for the quilter to engage in her vital work preserving the
cosmological integrity of the universe at large.
Along with the study of black holes, white holes seem to be a topic
rich in interest. Little is known at this time about white holes but
is is indicated that they are responsible for the depositing of small
objects such as keys, coins, buttons and seam rippers in odd unlikely
places and deep into the cushions of upholstered furnishings. In
addition is the largely unknown connection between black holes and
white holes in the depositing of odd socks in clothes dryers.
In conclusion The Committee for the Preservation of the Universe
would like to thank each and every member of the quilting community
for saving the world one yard at a time.
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