For those who don't know, this is a hilarious song by William Bolcom, about the type of food usually served at a women's lunch. Here are the lyrics, I will also post a link to a video.
LADIES,
THE MINUTES
WILL SOON BE READ TODAY.
THE GARDEN CLUB
AND WEAVING CLASS
I`M SURE HAVE MUCH TO SAY...
BUT NEXT WEEK
IS OUR CULTURE NIGHT,
OUR BIGGEST,
BEST EVENT,
AND I`VE JUST MADE A DISH
FOR IT
YOU`LL ALL FIND HEAVEN SENT:
IT`S MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE
WITH SLICES OF PIMENTO,
(YOU WON`T BELIEVE YOUR EYES,)
ALL TOPPED WITH A PINEAPPLE RING
AND A DASH OF MAYONAISE,
MY VANILLA WAFERS
`ROUND THE EDGE
WILL WIN YOUR HIGHEST PRAISE.
AND MISSUS JONES
IS MAKING SCONES
THAT ARE FILLED
WITH PEANUT MOUSSE;
TO BE FOLLOWED
BY A CHICKEN MOLD
THAT`S MADE
IN THE SHAPE
OF A GOOSE.
FOR LADIES
WHO MUST WATCH THOSE POUNDS
WE`VE FOUND A SPECIAL DISH:
STRAWBERRY ICE
ENSHRINED IN RICE
WITH BITS OF TUNA FISH.
AND MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE
(TRULY A CREATION
THAT DESCRIPTION DEFIES)
WILL GO SO WELL
WITH MISSUS BELL`S
CREATION OF THE WEEK:
SHRIMP SALAD
TOPPED WITH CHOC`LATE SAUCE
AND GARNISHED WITH A LEEK.
AND MISSUS PERKINS`
WALNUT LOAF
THAT`S CROWNED
WITH MELTED CHEESE
WAS SUCH A HIT
LAST CULTURE NIGHT,
WE ASK:
NO SECONDS PLEASE!
NOW YOU MUST TRY
HER HOT DOG PIE
WITH CANDIED MUSHROOM SLICES...
THOSE LADIES
WHO RESIGNED LAST YEAR,
THEY JUST DON`T KNOW
WHAT NICE IS!
BUT MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE,
I DID NOT STEAL THAT RECIPE,
IT`S LIES,
I TELL YOU,
LIES!
OUR GRAND AWARD:
A PICTURE HAT
AND A SALMON SEQUINED GOWN
FOR ANY GIRL
WHO TRIES EACH DISH
AND KEEPS HER WHOLE LUNCH DOWN.
I`M SURE YOU ALL ARE WAITING
FOR THE BIGGEST NEWS:
DESERT!
WE`VE THOUGHT OF THINGS
IN MOLDS AND RINGS
YOUR DIET TO SUBVERT.
YOU MUST TRY
OUR CHOC`LATE LAYER CAKE
ON A PEANUT BRITTLE BASE
WITH SLICES OF BANANAS
THAT MAKE A FUNNY FACE.
AROUND THE EDGES PEPPERMINTS
JUST SWIMMING IN PEACH CUSTARD,
WITH LOVELY LITTLE CURLICUES
OF LOVELY YELLOW MUSTARD!
IF ALL THIS
IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU,
PERMIT ME TO ADVISE
MORE LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE!
(I`VE MADE HEAPS!)