LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE

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10-21-2010, 01:16 PM

ptquilts

Super Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Jun 2010

Location: Vermont

Posts: 6,986

For those who don't know, this is a hilarious song by William Bolcom, about the type of food usually served at a women's lunch. Here are the lyrics, I will also post a link to a video.

LADIES,

THE MINUTES

WILL SOON BE READ TODAY.

THE GARDEN CLUB

AND WEAVING CLASS

I`M SURE HAVE MUCH TO SAY...

BUT NEXT WEEK

IS OUR CULTURE NIGHT,

OUR BIGGEST,

BEST EVENT,

AND I`VE JUST MADE A DISH

FOR IT

YOU`LL ALL FIND HEAVEN SENT:

IT`S MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE

WITH SLICES OF PIMENTO,

(YOU WON`T BELIEVE YOUR EYES,)

ALL TOPPED WITH A PINEAPPLE RING

AND A DASH OF MAYONAISE,

MY VANILLA WAFERS

`ROUND THE EDGE

WILL WIN YOUR HIGHEST PRAISE.

AND MISSUS JONES

IS MAKING SCONES

THAT ARE FILLED

WITH PEANUT MOUSSE;

TO BE FOLLOWED

BY A CHICKEN MOLD

THAT`S MADE

IN THE SHAPE

OF A GOOSE.

FOR LADIES

WHO MUST WATCH THOSE POUNDS

WE`VE FOUND A SPECIAL DISH:

STRAWBERRY ICE

ENSHRINED IN RICE

WITH BITS OF TUNA FISH.

AND MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE

(TRULY A CREATION

THAT DESCRIPTION DEFIES)

WILL GO SO WELL

WITH MISSUS BELL`S

CREATION OF THE WEEK:

SHRIMP SALAD

TOPPED WITH CHOC`LATE SAUCE

AND GARNISHED WITH A LEEK.

AND MISSUS PERKINS`

WALNUT LOAF

THAT`S CROWNED

WITH MELTED CHEESE

WAS SUCH A HIT

LAST CULTURE NIGHT,

WE ASK:

NO SECONDS PLEASE!

NOW YOU MUST TRY

HER HOT DOG PIE

WITH CANDIED MUSHROOM SLICES...

THOSE LADIES

WHO RESIGNED LAST YEAR,

THEY JUST DON`T KNOW

WHAT NICE IS!

BUT MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE,

I DID NOT STEAL THAT RECIPE,

IT`S LIES,

I TELL YOU,

LIES!

OUR GRAND AWARD:

A PICTURE HAT

AND A SALMON SEQUINED GOWN

FOR ANY GIRL

WHO TRIES EACH DISH

AND KEEPS HER WHOLE LUNCH DOWN.

I`M SURE YOU ALL ARE WAITING

FOR THE BIGGEST NEWS:

DESERT!

WE`VE THOUGHT OF THINGS

IN MOLDS AND RINGS

YOUR DIET TO SUBVERT.

YOU MUST TRY

OUR CHOC`LATE LAYER CAKE

ON A PEANUT BRITTLE BASE

WITH SLICES OF BANANAS

THAT MAKE A FUNNY FACE.

AROUND THE EDGES PEPPERMINTS

JUST SWIMMING IN PEACH CUSTARD,

WITH LOVELY LITTLE CURLICUES

OF LOVELY YELLOW MUSTARD!

IF ALL THIS

IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU,

PERMIT ME TO ADVISE

MORE LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE!

(I`VE MADE HEAPS!)