I think you have come to your own solution. Exactly, you do know your daughter better than any of us.
When our children were growing up, my husband never said no, just gave them all the reasons why he didn't think it was such a great idea. So it really turned their thinking around and a few times they came back and thanked us for not letting them go.
We always had the policy that no matter what time of night, if they were out we would pick them up.
I remember once my daughter was going to a party and I had a strict pick up time, she begged to stay a little later, I relented and said she could stay until 11pm. At 9pm she phone and asked to be picked up as she didn't like the way the party was going.
Trust is a wonderful thing and no doubt my children were never angels but they have grown into very responsible adults.
I am sure your daughter will be just as responsible.
Originally Posted by Quiltforme
I want to thank you all for saying exactly what I was feeling. It is just no appropriate. I picked her from school today and we went to starbucks. A place where neither one of us could get upset. I asked her to reverse rolls with me for a minute and really try to understand what it is like to be a mom. I calmly explained that 1 a few weeks ago some kids from Easter Washington went to a party thinking it would be a fun time. A lot of GOOD girls were drugged with the date rape drug. I know this is extreme but I needed her to understand this is not ok to do. I then gave her an ultimatum. She could go to the house and stay there for a couple of hours after the dance but if the boys were staying the night then she will have to come home. I also told her that if it is just her and her friends then no problem but I have a problem with the boyfriends there. She understood it was much easier than I thought being in a coffee shop with her no yelling screaming matches. She is going to find out more information and we will see. I also thanked her for telling me about the boys. I also told her if she had not and I found out after the fact she would be back to home schooling again. I want to thank you all for your input this was something I had never thought I would have to deal with I am overprotective and also letting go of the apron strings is hard but I know she has to grow up, however this was not an area I didn't want her to have to deal with just yet.