Originally Posted by Mamagus
I have a 25 year old daughter ...
In my opinion: She asks this time and you give her a no? The next time she won't ask. She'll find a time and a place to rebel without you ever knowing anything about it.
It is all well and good to be the Mom who takes the high moral ground, but unless you plan to escort her everywhere she goes for the next 4 years, she will in all probability have sex with a boy before then. You can be pro-active and provide her with birth control or her own supply of condoms, but if she wants to, she is gonna do it with or without a sleepover party. It takes a few minutes!!
By all means call the parents and check out where the boys are sleeping... but unless you're going to supervise her, you have to give her "The Talk" and hope for the best.
Letting your child make decisions on their own about their life's path is not being amoral and uncaring. Not if you've already been the voice in her head guiding her decisions thus far. If you've raised her right she'll be fine.
I agree.
If she has shown she can be responsible, you have given her the talk about the risks, and peer pressure, you have done your best.
That does not exclude talking to the parents at the home where this sleepover will be and being assured that they will be there and present to oversee.
I agree that if you just tell her "no" without checking, she will not ask ot tell you next time. If you don't feel comfortable with what you find out, then you can say , no, with back up.
Some (not all) of the worst kids are the ones that are not allowed to do anything. When they do get loose, they go wild.