Originally Posted by moonwolf23
Originally Posted by IrishNY
Originally Posted by moonwolf23
Originally Posted by lab fairy
Originally Posted by moonwolf23
Originally Posted by lab fairy
Originally Posted by elizabeth
would you object to an all day boy/girl party with supervision? If not, let her go. I think it freaks people out when they hear boy, girl, all night, party in one sentence. BUT, I never had a daughter.
I had a son and a daughter both are now out of their teens. My answer would be the same. I have to know who the parents that are supervising the party, who will be attending the party, and what are the proposed activities.
Believe it or not, gender has nothing to do with many responses except that the female usually pays for mistakes for the next 18+ years the hard way. Male children are no less vulnerable because they might make those same mistakes and need to take responsibility for their actions as well. I do not need to cite statistics on birth control to tell you there are only two methods that are 100% effective and they are abstinance and sterilization.
Parents should not have to be a child's friend or be blackmailed by society into thinking that they should. I think that is where many of us make the big mistakes. Your childs friends are peers, parents are teachers of values, etc.
Yeah the likelihood that abstinence and sterility is going to be practiced is very very low.
Actually not as low as you think. I've had thousands of students in my classrooms. I discussed this every year. Cynicism is where you are burying your head in the sand and frankly worry about the future. You cannot believe how many kids believe really stupid things (adults too). I've been part of research project with the CDC, the Human Genome Project, National Science Foundation, etc. Ignorance starts at home just like basic values, self-esteem, etc.
I'm not going to argue with you. You are entitled to your opinion. I just hope if you have children that you know the facts (not Oprah junk science but REAL information). A great visual of all the untreatable STD's, financial spreadsheet of the cost of raising a child to the age of 18 and frank discussions are really useful. I've had a few throw up with the visuals. A picture is worth a 1000 words. Nothing is worse than explaining to a young lady HOW she ended up pregnant because no one told her at home. Her parents expected the school to do their parenting. Pass the buck, pass the child, sad world.
I highly doubt they are going to tell you the truth, more what you want to here.
Even if they remain virgins till they graduate high school, the likelihood they'll remain abstinent in college is also pretty low.
Personally, I see no need to advocate this type of behavior. I'd rather teach my daughter how to tell what a good man is, what birth control is. Basically teach her stuff she'll need to know when she's out on her own.
I'm always a bit bemused by this whole stay a virgin philosophy, that rarely sticks. I'm also bemused by why it's needed and why people are so uncomfortable about it. This is also the same country that loves Carrie Bradshaw and sex in the city and the Gilmore Girls.
Why does it have be mutually exclusive? I talked to my kids about sex and birth control. I told them I was sure they weren't going to be abstinent until marriage unless they married way too young. But I also told them that any sex puts them at risk for pregnancy. I also told them that they are not ready for the emotional weight of having sex at a young age.
There is a way to be realistic and prepare them while still communicating the expectation that they will wait until they are mature enough to handle it. And being realistic about the possibility certainly doesn't mean that you have to allow them to participate in situations that you think may lead to avoidable bad outcomes.
What makes you think they are unprepared to handle "it" when they are 16, or 17?
Why are people so worried about the purity of teens in highschool, but once college comes about, that worry melts away?
trust me, that worry does NOT melt away...but you do have to let them go sometime, and if they move out of the house to go to college, it becomes much harder to have a say in their everyday activities.
so glad my youngest is going to stay at home for the first couple years!