Breathe, breathe, breathe. Easier said than done. When I was much younger in my 30's there was a time that I would go into a room in the house and just sit there. After a while I thought "gee there is something wrong with me". So to the doctor I went and told him this; he informed me that life had gotten ahead of me and that my body was telling me that being alone and in thought (whether we know it or not we are in thought) we are mentally rearranging items that have taken control over our life. You need to quit punishing yourself for the word of others. You carry a full load and you need to have time for yourself. Get a little selfish with your time, relax, listen to music, watch only funny TV programs, learn to laugh even at yourself. You are worth all that you are. Celebrate You and the others will follow. God bless