Wow, what can I add that will make you feel better? Probably not much, except that now you see that we're all here to help each other. One day you'll be laughing about how difficult it was, while you're urging someone else to continue!
Since you already purchased fabric and a pattern, let's try to work with that. Tell us which pattern you are using. It might help to include the specific part(s) of the pattern that is giving you problems. Send a copy if you can. We'll decipher it for you. I'm a teacher, as many others are, I'm sure. We're used to rewording instructions so that all learners can understand them. Plus, we may be able to find another version of the pattern or a tutorial. The thing is to give yourself a real chance. You'll grow to love this hobby, I promise.