My family is getting larger each year and we started drawing names for the adults (35+) and the kiddies (13) have a stocking. With the economy and at least 2 adults being laid off we are making changes for the NEXT year, it is way too late to change this years plans.
And it is discussed by all and majority rules.
It is possible that SIL is having money probs.
It was wrong not to include you and the changes should have been made earlier. Don't let this ruin your Christmas, you have a big heart.