I recieved plenty of "swats" from my favorite grandparnts both gone now. My happiest memories are of times with them. Ahhhh how times have changed.
I do not have grandkids and I fear if my sons have kids with women that allow this behavior it wont be pretty.To answer your question No I personally could never allow it to go on at my home .I have friends with young children that I have had to leave their homes early when visiting because of the bullying that was going on with 2and 3 year olds.Whew this is a sticky situation for you.
Rae