At this point both of my GS are living with me. Their parents KNOW if I tell the child to do/not to do something it better mind. I put them in the corner for time out and swat their behind if needed (rarely). Both of them know if I start counting that they are in deep dodo. They answer me with yes mam, and use please and thank you. Parents are amazed that I can take the 4 yr old to the grocery store. He is a very picky eater and will put items back on the shelf out of the buggy because he doesn't want them. He did this 1 time with me and I got down on 1 knee in right in front of his face and politely explained that what I put in the buggy stayed in the buggy did we understand each other or did we have to go to the car and discuss it further? He now pushes the buggy and helps me "find" food. He knows that he doesn't have to eat it but it has to go home with us for PaPaw.
The 9 yr old lives between 3 houses (my house Sun night thru Fri morning & Mom or Dad Fri night to Sun evening).I make sure he goes to school everyday and does his homework. Parents tried to tell me what his "rules" were and I told them as long as Their child lived with me & DH and I paid his bills then I would make the rules at my house and he would abide by them and since they "could not look after him" they had no say in the matter. When he comes in on Sunday evening he yells, Mimi, I'm home as he comes in the door. He is developmentally delayed and thrives on the structure of knowing what time he has to get up, that he is going to eat 3 meals a day and is to have his teeth brushed and be in bed at 9pm. I am taking this hard line with the GS because I tried to be Mother, Father & friend to my DS and they became self centered grown up brats. I don't want a repeat of my mistakes.......