I agree with deema. Once it is given, it is a gift and theirs to do whatever with. But, when or if I see one of my quilts given as a gift, misused, that person will never get another quilt from me.
How many people do you think would LOVE a homemade quilt? You giving is awesome and most people realize that.
Don't let one person ruin your love of quilting and sharing.
It is kind of like riding a horse, sometimes you fall off but you get back on! You shouldn't feel the way you do because of one person.
"Let no man or woman rob you of your joy". I am sorry about the way she treated you quilt though.