I'm a grandmother, and I wouldn't hesitate to speak up to one of my grandsons if they treated one of my quilts that way. It sounds like she may never have known how much that hurt you--she (and her parents) need to know. It's not that you are asking for an apology, just letting them know how you feel. Don't give up on giving quilts as gifts, but maybe talk to the person ahead of time to make sure they really want one.