My heart aches for you! The maternal GM seeing more sounds pretty normal, I think most daughters will visit and rely more on their own rather than MIL. There were issues between myself and my DIL, but, thank God, my son knew it and he brought the kids here by himself at least once a week and sometimes more. After their divorce, we would get the kids from daycare and school once a week so had a few hours of having just them which was great. Those kids are now old enough to come visit on their own, and they do come as often as they can( school and work gets in the way at times) . We don't get to have the younger grandkids nearly as much as we would like since their mom remarried and moved a little farther away. In the beginning , before she moved farther out of town, son would bring them once a week on his day, have supper with us, then take them home. Now if he tries to do that, he would have to spend most of his time with them riding in the car. So, either we get them from schookl and take them to him on his day, or we have to wait until it is his week-end, sometimes he brings them, some times not. Both kids play soccer now, and we NEVER miss a game. If we have a chance to see the children, we grab it!! In defense of yoiur son and Dil, maybe she really is scared to have the baby around your mother if she is ill. The baby bis still quite little, and I would be worried to in their place. Staph infections can spread pretty easily. My niece is in a nursing home, she is paralyzed now for 1 1/2 years. She has a 9 month old grandson, her first , and her daughter is scared to death to take him to visit because of infections. When she has, my niece isn't allowed to hold him because of that very reason, she has contacted CDIFF three times in the past year. I know it is so hard on her not holding that baby, but she tries to understand. I don't know your circumstances, but if you can get someone to watch your mom, get in that car and go. If you have a good relationship with your son, talk to him and ask if he can bring the baby more often . My son understands how much we want to see the children, and they want to see us, so it isn't a matter of him trying to
deny us, there are just times when it doesn't work out.