If you actually feel fearful of giving something to someone it is probably a healthy sign that you recognize that someone is not on the same page with you on quilting and quilts, their remarkable value of your labor and love that go into making them.
No matter how much we want to gift someone if they don't appreciate the particular gift, let that go, they don't really want it, it is you that has the ideal of giving, not them of receiving. If the gift isn't going to be equally received in care, they aren't the right person to have something made with so much care. The image of someone valuing and caring for a beautiful quilt is very appealing, but for people who can't or won't care for beautiful things, completely different gifts needing minimal or no care or at least something they can't destroy easily are better for both of you!
Find out what they really want and give that instead. Sad and frustrating, but realistic. You don't need to make yourself suffer, watching a quilt that so much of you went into making, abused and destroyed.
I knew a child so clumsy and destructive his grandfather suggested the best gift for him would be a bowling ball, only when he was right in the bowling alley!
Keep your quilts to use on the guest bed when the grands visit, or donate them to auctions that raise money for relief funds or other charities, breast cancer research, etc. Someone buying your quilt will be happy to pay a lot of money for it, really appreciate, enjoy and care well for it, as you and the quilt deserve, and the money is so well used.
I had the sentimental dream of making quilts for my grands that would become heirlooms but after their mother destroyed the first two in what I felt was a really disrespectful way I decided that would be the end of that and not to waste any more time, work and love in that direction. The children barely had time to enjoy them before they were wrecked and heirlooms have to survive to be heirlooms! I enjoy giving them other things now, that they enjoy receiving, and don't need a lot of teaching to understand. That being said, if my granddaughter ever shows an interest in quilting I'll be there with my stash to teach her everything I know including valuing her work and skills and insisting that anyone she shares her work with understands it too.