Our bicentennial quilt group talked about these values. Several of us also smock and the smocked dresses have not always been appreciated. One made a pink dress for her granddaughter and her dil said the pink was too bright and put it at the back of the closet. My friend took it back.
More and more the solution to the problem seems to me, no matter how much we want to make a particular quilt in particular patterns and colours, does the intended recipient share our aesthetics and values. If not, make it for ourselves or someone else who will appreciate, unless we really want to see it in a muddy heap in a pickup truck or backyard doghouse!
Giving is a type of communicating - we can say something, but if the intended hearer doesn't hear or won't listen, then the communication is incomplete, one-sided; if too much communication falls on no recipient, then better for our own health and sanity to communicate to someone else.