I agree - once any gift leaves my house for someone else, it is no longer any of my business what they do with it. When I sent a granddaughter money for graduation, her mother wanted to 'control' it. I told my granddaughter it was no longer mine - it was totally hers to do whatever she wanted with it - buy shoes, pay debts, even flush it down the toilet, if that was her desired (though I didn't want to hear about it if she did). I hope her mother isn't 'controling' it, but it is no longer my responsibility.