I fully agree that giving love is essential, but loving blindly isn't wise. Checking what colours the dil wants is a great idea, even chedking a pattern. I asked my granddaughter what shapes she wants and hope to actually take her shopping to choose colours for herself - why should I impose my colour choice on her? A quilt is really a powerful, distinctive presence in any room, often the first thing our eyes fall on. Better be pleasing to be welcomed.
I learned that when my grandson was just over 2 1/5, I made a red sweater with some grey and white around the shoulders waist and wrists. He said,"It feel warm Nana, but there's too much red"!! Now I bring the whole wool sample card and they choose from it. At age 12 he's beginning the teen fashion thing, floppy sweats and jeans, forget the handknits. Oh Well, it was fun while it lasted!