My Dear Ditter,
Just to set the record straight here, my law firm, located in the great State of Texas, represented Bubba in the negotiations. There are several changes of note.
Paragraph 2, line 1: No self respecting Texan Santa would drink anything but Dr. Pepper on Christmas Eve. It is also requested that it be the original Dr. Pepper bottled in Dublin, TX whenever possible. After all, Bubba has first class taste.
Paragraph 2, line2: The word "snuff" should be replaced with "chew".
Paragraph 3: It is up to Bubba's discretion as to the use of coon dogs, horse or the ever popular Longhorn steer.
Paragraph 5: The proper approved response of the elves should be replaced with the words, "Did all y'all git dat?"
Please initial these changes and return.