I don't understand her reaction either. If someone wanted to know about a pattern of something that I was showing off to them, I certainly would share it. If it was a pattern I had designed myself, I would say that, end of conversation. I had a similar response from a board member here when I asked people to post pics of their avatar quilts and tell pattern and designer. I was interested in seeing bigger photos of peoples work not trying to steal their ideas. One meber posted that she would not share her qult pattern and wasn't going to give me free lessons. I was shocked! Here is the link to the topic if you are interested in seeing the quilts of those who did want to share.
http://www.quiltingboard.com/t-72553-1.htm
Good luck finding the pattern for the mystery quilt!!