Tough love is doing what you know is best for your child in the long run, even when it's difficult for you, and often for the child, in the short term. Tough love takes not only guts and foresight, but immense bravery and love. It's fueled by anything but anger and a hard heart. It can only be accomplished with immense love.
Originally Posted by great aunt jacqui
blueheaven fla. caring does not mean enabling. I feel bad for you. Tough love....I'v seen a 16 yo neice thrown out of her house with "tough love. how was that tough love. that was stupidity on my sisters part. My neice grew up in my house. It drove my sister and I apart. Tough love has anger in it and is fueled by a hard heart. My neice had 2 beautiful girls and was a good mom. However she passed away suddenly at 34. Her girls came to me at 15 &16 years old, My sister greives every single day about her Tough Love approach. One great neice will have a baby in April. He will call me Gramma.
quote=blueheavenfla]
Originally Posted by julia58
I have always believed in "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." And by all means "I sure don't want to offend anyone, but...." This thread has opened my eyes. I THOUGHT quilters were a nice bunch of people.... After this thread, and a few others I see the light on how some of you really are. Just let me say this, I hope none of you are ever put in the position this young man has had to lower himself to. Because you wouldn't deserve the doghouse outside to sleep in.
There is a difference between being a loving parent who helps out short term and an enabler who helps turn their own kid into a drag on society after the parent gets fed up. We don't know the circumstances so many options are offered up for Mom to weigh and decide what she and Dad are to do. I honestly believe that you in the quote above show that you are also an immature (whether in years or just personality) person who doesn't understand what "tough love" really is. Perhaps you needed some yourself.
You didn't want to offend BUT...so maybe you should have kept your fingers off the keyboard as you have offended this 73 year old who has helped family (home, money & food) but also drew limits to help the person maintain their own self respect by getting out EVERY day and looking for work. There ARE jobs, maybe not with the desired pay or in the desired field of work but anything is better for your self respect than nothing and sometimes limits are needed for that extra push. Grow up and face it!
[/quote]