View Single Post
Old 01-21-2011, 11:20 AM
  #294  
The Creative Seamstress
Senior Member
 
The Creative Seamstress's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 364
Default

I was going to ask you after reading this thread if you had any plans to sit down and directly ask him... but I am waiting for the "to be continued" as you are thankfully already covering that... and kudos for it. There has to be full and two-way communication in order for a partnership to thrive and survive in the long run.

When it comes to sewing/quilting, my Husband doesn't chastise me for it. Lucky for me he is very supportive of whatever makes me happy. He knows it costs money and remains acutely aware of my Joann's and any other fabric/craft store "addiction", but doesn't hassle me about it. For that I am very grateful. Occasionally I will show him things on here - like examples of a sewing room or fabric stash I see for when we finally get our own house, and he laughs and says the one thing he doesn't understand about us quilters is the obsession with the fabric stash - and it's organization. But really and truly, he doesn't get on me about my hobby and/or where I'd like to take it in the future in terms of expansions of it. When I got my new sewing machine he even tried it out and sewed up a potholder for me that I was working on just to see what it felt like and how it all worked. I really do give him some credit for that... after which I told him now that he could straight stitch he could do all his own mending from now on, LOL...

I'm kind of different in the situation you are experiencing as I am the one who is kind of upset with my own husband for not having some sort of hobby beyond watching TV and or playing video/computer games (like Bejeweled, UNO etc) all the time, but I certainly don't come out as belittling about it as it seems you are experiencing with your husband. In my situation, my angst come from the fact that while I do my sewing/quilting, he is watching TV or playing a video game... there isn't anything we do together (other than sleep and that other one very adult activity) when our work schedule allows us to even see each other. I just really wish that he did something I could also throw myself into so we'd have something in common other than our job title.

While I know/realize he will never take up sewing (nor would I ever expect him to) I would be willing to try one of his hobbies if he had any. Don't get me wrong - I like video games, actually the Wii and XBox he plays is mine... but I can't play PacMan for 4 hours straight like he does because he can't break 20,000 points or get to the next level. I play for awhile, change the game and so on so forth and then I'm done, which probably totalled an hour on an involved day when I really want to play. Sometime on the computer I can play the Sims for a few hours but thats infrequent. I also don't spew the level of profanities he does at the controller, TV and gaming system that he does... and he's going to be 40 this year and I'm considerably younger.

Now that I wrote that, I guess what frustrates me the most about it is that when he is engaged in his hobby he acts worse than a two year old about it. He throws the controller, curses, screams, yells, hoots and hollars and I guess that's why I get irritated about his hobby. I wish he could be more mature about it by enjoying the fact that it is "just a game". Whew - got that off my chest ;) and I've told him about this before but he sees nothing wrong with it. I keep on telling him when we have kids, he can't act that way because then they will never learn it is just a game and that throwing a tantrum when you lose or get beaten isn't appropriate behavior... he says he'll worry about that when we have children but doesn't need to care for now... so that ticks me off. I think he acts this way only because his own parents never corrected him, and I won't have my kids be that way... but I digress...

I know that between my husband and I - I have expressed my feelings and we are trying to come up with something we could both enjoy together, although we still don't have the answer to that as of yet. Hilariously enough when the conversation was had, he said he'd be willing to try basketweaving. It wasn't a joke either, as we came across a website for a basketweaving school in our area while he had googled for hobbies/things to do where we are right now. This was after he tried joining me in my hobby of painting, and he bought himself a Dolphin "paint by number" from Joann's which he had intended to finish and give me as a present, LOL. So far he has only completed about 0.5% of it (its a rather complicated one) which he can only work on for 15 minutes at a time. To date, 15 minutes is all he's done. But he is such a good sport, I give him credit for trying. Heck, I'd try the basketweaving with him just cause I think it would be funny to see him try it out. Him behind a sewing machine was great!

Anyhow, I don't know that I've been incredibly helpful to you here, except to be a friend and let you know that you aren't alone and that husbands are always gems to be figured out. I know I haven't mastered the Rubik's Cube just jet, LOL. I'm hoping you can get the insight you need into the matter, and whatever the deep seeded gripe he has with your sewing/quilting activities is brought into the light - so that some understanding and harmony can be achieved between the two of You. Till death do us part is a long time to not get along whether its one or many issues...

Explosive blessings, abundance and inspiration to you all!
- The Creative Seamstress
The Creative Seamstress is offline