I can understand your dilemma so I can only say how I would feel. She had to be doing a job she loved--and like the military this is not the job for everyone. He had to love her very much as this type of job is also hard on the loved ones.
It will be a nice tribute to her and in time he will be able to look at your quilt and tell people about her and about the woman who cared enough to make him something to remember her by.
I mean no disrespect to anyone. My thoughts come from making people memory quilts after a loss.