I found this thread to be very interesting as I have run in to the same situation on more than 1 occasion. First of all I would definitely not lie to her about why I don't want to give her a copy. When you are doing the right thing there should be no reason to feel you have to lie about it. Was this originally offered as a block of the month where each person just paid for that month's pattern? If so, what you might want to do is suggest she contact the designer to see if she can also buy it one month at a time. That way the designer still gets paid, but it wouldn't be such a huge outlay at once for the other person.