I started out with depends for my DML but finaly she had to have a catheter when she could no longer walk with out supporte when she came to live with me I just didn't bring any of her panties and just put the depends in her dresser drawer. Hope Hospis did the cath for me which sure helped. She felted that her independence was taken away but it sure helped her feel more comfortable and saved my furniture. good luck hope it goes smothely for you