Ok, people. This is one of those things I never in a million years would have expected. I'll try to tell this in a condensed version.....
By nature, I'm quiet, contemplative, a lover of status quo. My two boys are in 1st and 3rd grade and, being a woman with extra time on my hands when my kids are at school, I sew and sew. Mostly donation quilts, and lately many of those quilts are intended for Japan.
Two days ago, my machine was chugging away and feelings of frustration were welling up within me. I was upset with how little I'm capable of doing for the many lives touched by unthinkable circumstances. Yes, quilts are nice and I love to make them, but it would be wonderful to make a bigger impact somehow. So many people with so little and here I sit with so much...
So, I consider traveling and volunteering in whatever way required where there is devastation, hunger, need, sadness, disease, etc. But two things stand in the way, my family that needs me here, and my inability to walk away from a hurting child. I would be in constant turmoil watching the numerous children living their difficult lives day after miserable day. I knew I would be wanting to bring back at least a dozen kids....
This image of myself not being able to let go of a child who needs so much and wants so little leads to an epiphany. Why not ONE child? Why not save ONE child from a life that is wretched? The idea seems so contrived within the parameters of this little midwestern town where cultural diversity is so slim. But why not?
So, dear quilters, I'm looking for feedback from anyone with international adoption experience. I would love to hear personal stories, good and bad. I would like to hear the facts about the process and the price.
I should add that last night I broached the subject with my husband and he almost choked on his pork chop. There was one repeated phrase..."Wow....." If I'm a lover of status quo, my husband is a fanatic about it. We're a good match that way. But we're also a good match in that we have great love to give and an appreciation of the potential to make positive changes....even if it's to the life of only one small precious person. My boys were at first one for and one against. That progressed to two "no"s, on the basis of having to share their mom. Neither liked the idea of another child calling me "Mom". Their opinion now is that adopting a little girl would be OK, because she would be less likely to "want their Legos". Also, my seven year old would like a girl because she would be less likely to be "scarred up". That one threw me a bit, but apparently the idea of having a child who wears the scars of such a difficult life distresses him. We had to have a discussion, of course, about that.
On the note of cultural diversity, I read stories of some people adopting siblings so the child has at least one person in their life with the same heritage. That is more than I'm capable of wrapping my brain around right now. In raising my two boys, my biggest challenge is dealing with their sibling rivalry. However, a very dear friend of mine lives a couple miles away and has a life very parallel to my own (three boys). She has, as I found out yesterday, been wanting to adopt for several years but has a husband who hasn't supported the option, for fear of "opening a can of worms" (emotional problems brought into their peaceful home). Having not spoken to him about it for quite some time, she brought it up again last night and he was much more receptive to the idea. I think it would be such a blessing to the lives of two children from one country to be brought into our two loving families. Our families see each other at least weekly, and a bond would surely develop between them if their wasn't one already.
If anyone has anything to share on this topic, I would love to hear it. Thanks so much for listening. That attempt to make this a condensed version was pretty much a flop, wasn't it?