As an ex-Marylander (Olney/Rockville), I appreciate the Beltway humor!!!
Do you have a Goodwill Outlet Center near you? They sell the stuff at $1.10 a pound. It is the stuff that does not sell, all in huge bins, all mixed up but sometimes I can find duvet covers, large men's shirts or dresses. Now I use them for recycled grocery totes but you never know...Now I will qualify this by saying sometimes there are some very creepy people in there and it has a "unique" smell. Anything I get goes directly into the washing machine. But a duvet cover for 2 bucks?