We adopted 30 years ago after the Vietnam baby lift. We started with American adoption agencies. They wouldn't even consider us because we already had 3 biological boys. We counseled with our pediatrician about adopting a child older than our oldest from foster care. He strongly discouraged it saying it would disturb the development that their natural birth order had already created and it was his experience that it would introduce alot of behavioral problems that our children didn't have. That left us no other choice than to pursue international adoption. Our daughter is Korean. She is 31 now with little ones of her own. The love we feel for her is no different than the love for our biological children.
My dad got quite upset when we told my parents about the pending adoption saying "You have no idea what you are getting!"
I told him that it had been my experience that you never know what you are getting when you have a biological child either. You may know their sex when they are born but are they going to be OK medically? Have learning disabilities? Suffer from oxygen deprivation during labor and delivery? Become drug addicts? We have had some of those issues with our sons. Our daughter had all the typical acting out that is typical of teenagers. The only thing we ever had an issue with is her desire to know why she was given up for adoption. The agency didn't know so we couldn't tell her. When the adoptees graduated from high school the agency we adopted from, Holt Childrens Services, sponsored a trip for them back to Korea to help them answer some of the questions they may have about their adoption. She came home with a much better understanding of the culture, their views of unwed mothers, and their views of adoption. They also got to visit the orphanage she came from and speak to mothers that had placed their children for adoption and came to understand that heart wrenching that they go through prior to placing a child for adoption. It helped her tremendously. Blessings, Ann in TN