<You will know your strategy is working when they say..."you used to be so nice, now you are just a b...." I learned the "just say no" lesson the hard way, but I am much happier not feeling like a martyr and I don't really mind being called a b....>
That expression was directed to me once. Luckily, I was able to think quickly and with the same venom and said- "Are you looking in a mirror?" and walked away. I do not associate with people who try to denigrate me. I taught public school for 30 years. That behavior was never acceptable. I was not popular but I knew that my treatment of others was fair. Nice people got nice treatment. The others got what they deserved and believe me, they didn't like being treated the way they treated others.