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Old 04-30-2011, 01:33 PM
  #110  
flybreit
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Hartsburg, Mo
Posts: 309
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Originally Posted by JulieR
Originally Posted by Mamagus
Matt has already told his dad that his Mom's new husband will NOT be "Poppy-Kevin". So that leaves me wondering if that was a hint... I will not be "Nanny Lori".
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Was the comment intended to reassure your DH that HE is the grandparent they wish to honor, not the new guy? Maybe they don't like Kevin, or his mom was snotty about it. Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all.

I say just ask. Acknowledge you aren't the biological grandma but you'd love to have a relationship with their child, and what would they like you to go by? You aren't being pushy about it, just giving them the opportunity to make the decision themselves.

Whatever they decide, as others have said it isn't really important in the long run. What is important is having a good relationship with all of them.
Amen Sister! I was going to suggest you send the parents a note or email (so you don't put them on the spot - we know how hormonal Moms-to-be are!) and tell them how excited you are, that you realize you're not the 'real' grandma (that will be up to you and the baby!), and just ask how they would like you to refer to yourself.

I was in your shoes 15 years ago, my SD and I had a pretty good relationship but I was still the step. My sweet MIL told her to give me a chance, and SD said her heart melted the first time she saw me hold the baby and my smile was as big as her Daddy's. Four kids later we are Grammy and PaPaw.

Just love the baby, ask Mom what you can do to help, don't offer advice unless asked - it will be OK :-)
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