Originally Posted by kaykwilts
Originally Posted by QuiltE
KayKwilts ... I totally respect your wish and desire to stay in your home.
The truth is that sometimes, no matter how much a family wants to respect their loved ones wishes, it is not within their ability to do so.
Sometimes the required care is not available in a personal home situation.
Sometimes controlled meds/narcotics are required, and cannot be given outside of controlled environments.
Sometimes the family members despite their good intents, are not meant to be caregivers, and would give care that would be truly classed as abuse.
And more .....
And yes, all things are possible, within the home environment, for a fee. Sadly, many do not have the financial ability to provide in that way.
And please remember, as I said above, I do respect your desire.
What I am trying to do is to put forth a balanced perspective of some of the other issues in this matter. I've only touched on a few ... and know there are so many more points that could be brought forth.
Thank you for your kind response and thoughtful insights.
I recognize that not all have the ability to chose to stay at home...for whatever reason.
For myself, I have given these issues much thought, and have talked with my 10 children at length about what we (meaning my husband and I) want when or if the time comes that we can no longer care for ourselves. Bear in mind that I gave birth to all ten of my children here at home, and do not, as a general rule, run to a doctor at the slightest "need"...I reach for natural cures and lifestyle changes first. My children have been brought up with this lifestyle.
But I recognize that some situations cannot be controlled or handled at home. I am talking to my children, making sure they have the understanding of what our wishes are, and am putting these in writing, hoping that this will make their decisions easier. I also am trying to plan financially to provide for our care at home, as this is very important to us.
I am truly sorry if I offended anyone with my comments. That was not my intent.
I think honest, open discussion of this journey we all make someday is the best way to explore and be informed of all the issues and choices available to us all.
Thank you again for your kind and thoughtful words....you have given me food for thought and opened up some ideas of some things I need to remember.....
I don't think you have offended anyone, nor should you feel bad for stating your personal preferences.
I agree 100% with wanting to stay at home if I am not capable of taking care of myself. My children and my DH all know what I want.
My husband had been sick for 3 years, steadily getting worse. I worked as long as I could, but had to quit in Sept. last year as he required round the clock care. I never thought I was the kind to be able to deal with nursing a chronically ill person, but with God's help I did. I washed, gave meds, dealt with a picc line, tube feeds and made the drs explain to me until I understood. He finally got a transplant in January and is back on the mend, eating non-stop. Once he is a little more settled and the dr. visits slow down, I will be able to go back to work. I don't regret what I did, but I don't want to do it again either. I did it because I loved him and wanted him to get well. I knew he wouldn't get that kind of care in a NH. Nor would he have gotten the medical care either. I was there continually to see the changes and be in constant communication with drs.
Stand strong on your wants and needs. There are many home health care organizations that will help you to be able to stay at home. And those nurses are awesome. I just can't imagine dealing with the desparately ill everyday. But they do. And they do it well.