lost, vanished or stolen ????
04-28-2011, 10:06 AM
#81
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,448
I hope you find it
when my mom was in a nursing home I could not find her new shoes I ask them about them they said you mean the black ones no we have not seen them .I had not told them the color. I dont trust them
when my mom was in a nursing home I could not find her new shoes I ask them about them they said you mean the black ones no we have not seen them .I had not told them the color. I dont trust them
05-09-2011, 12:13 AM
#83
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: California
Posts: 401
It's not just assisted living staff that steals. My mother needed to be transported to the hospital by ambulance (she never came home). She had taken off her wedding rings and placed them on her dresser as she didn't want to risk losing them at the hospital. We searched for them high and low after her death with no luck. It later dawned on us that either the ambulance drivers or the man who brought oxygen stole them. My mother was only 57 when she died, it breaks my heart that something so personal is gone forever. I would have loved to have those rings. So, keep this in mind when inviting anyone into your home - even legitimate companies can have unscrupulous employees.
05-26-2011, 04:23 AM
#84
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: western australia
Posts: 1,793
Originally Posted by penski
oh i am sorry to hear this i hope they find her quilt
I went thru my mothers suitcase that was supposed to have been emptied and sent to the laundry for labeling and someone didn't do the job they were supposed to so it was still in her case along with all her missing clothes,
Sorry it has taken so long to let everyone know but I havent had any internet for over a month. tonight is the first time I could get back online. Mum is settling in to her new home and we have applied for a single room for her as the lady she shares with talks in her sleep all day and night.
05-26-2011, 04:49 AM
#85
Power Poster
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 17,720
Originally Posted by litacats
Originally Posted by penski
oh i am sorry to hear this i hope they find her quilt
I went thru my mothers suitcase that was supposed to have been emptied and sent to the laundry for labeling and someone didn't do the job they were supposed to so it was still in her case along with all her missing clothes,
Sorry it has taken so long to let everyone know but I havent had any internet for over a month. tonight is the first time I could get back online. Mum is settling in to her new home and we have applied for a single room for her as the lady she shares with talks in her sleep all day and night.
It could be that the staff left these items unpacked, because they are personal, and it is normally the family that helps to unpack and settle their loved one.
........ and I hope others take a page from this, look in every nook and cranny, including suitcases before accusations are made towards the facility staff and residents.
05-26-2011, 05:30 AM
#86
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Monroe, IN
Posts: 2,283
Originally Posted by kaykwilts
Originally Posted by QuiltE
KayKwilts ... I totally respect your wish and desire to stay in your home.
The truth is that sometimes, no matter how much a family wants to respect their loved ones wishes, it is not within their ability to do so.
Sometimes the required care is not available in a personal home situation.
Sometimes controlled meds/narcotics are required, and cannot be given outside of controlled environments.
Sometimes the family members despite their good intents, are not meant to be caregivers, and would give care that would be truly classed as abuse.
And more .....
And yes, all things are possible, within the home environment, for a fee. Sadly, many do not have the financial ability to provide in that way.
And please remember, as I said above, I do respect your desire.
What I am trying to do is to put forth a balanced perspective of some of the other issues in this matter. I've only touched on a few ... and know there are so many more points that could be brought forth.
The truth is that sometimes, no matter how much a family wants to respect their loved ones wishes, it is not within their ability to do so.
Sometimes the required care is not available in a personal home situation.
Sometimes controlled meds/narcotics are required, and cannot be given outside of controlled environments.
Sometimes the family members despite their good intents, are not meant to be caregivers, and would give care that would be truly classed as abuse.
And more .....
And yes, all things are possible, within the home environment, for a fee. Sadly, many do not have the financial ability to provide in that way.
And please remember, as I said above, I do respect your desire.
What I am trying to do is to put forth a balanced perspective of some of the other issues in this matter. I've only touched on a few ... and know there are so many more points that could be brought forth.
I recognize that not all have the ability to chose to stay at home...for whatever reason.
For myself, I have given these issues much thought, and have talked with my 10 children at length about what we (meaning my husband and I) want when or if the time comes that we can no longer care for ourselves. Bear in mind that I gave birth to all ten of my children here at home, and do not, as a general rule, run to a doctor at the slightest "need"...I reach for natural cures and lifestyle changes first. My children have been brought up with this lifestyle.
But I recognize that some situations cannot be controlled or handled at home. I am talking to my children, making sure they have the understanding of what our wishes are, and am putting these in writing, hoping that this will make their decisions easier. I also am trying to plan financially to provide for our care at home, as this is very important to us.
I am truly sorry if I offended anyone with my comments. That was not my intent.
I think honest, open discussion of this journey we all make someday is the best way to explore and be informed of all the issues and choices available to us all.
Thank you again for your kind and thoughtful words....you have given me food for thought and opened up some ideas of some things I need to remember.....
I agree 100% with wanting to stay at home if I am not capable of taking care of myself. My children and my DH all know what I want.
My husband had been sick for 3 years, steadily getting worse. I worked as long as I could, but had to quit in Sept. last year as he required round the clock care. I never thought I was the kind to be able to deal with nursing a chronically ill person, but with God's help I did. I washed, gave meds, dealt with a picc line, tube feeds and made the drs explain to me until I understood. He finally got a transplant in January and is back on the mend, eating non-stop. Once he is a little more settled and the dr. visits slow down, I will be able to go back to work. I don't regret what I did, but I don't want to do it again either. I did it because I loved him and wanted him to get well. I knew he wouldn't get that kind of care in a NH. Nor would he have gotten the medical care either. I was there continually to see the changes and be in constant communication with drs.
Stand strong on your wants and needs. There are many home health care organizations that will help you to be able to stay at home. And those nurses are awesome. I just can't imagine dealing with the desparately ill everyday. But they do. And they do it well.
05-26-2011, 06:09 AM
#87
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: western australia
Posts: 1,793
[quote=Buckeye Rose][quote=kaykwilts][quote=QuiltE]KayKwilts ... I totally respect your wish and desire to stay in your home.
The truth is that sometimes, no matter how much a family wants to respect their loved ones wishes, it is not within their ability to do so.
there has been a very lively discusion on nursing homes and what people want or don't want and the neads of others. I personaly looked after my mother for 8 years and would continue to do so if the house hadn't burnt to the ground making it impossible to care for her. as she cannot walk or stand at all for the last 6 years life has been very difficult for her and us, I would do it all again in a heartbeat if I could and I don't regret one minute of looking after her. she is now in a nursing home and is starting to look a lot more happy than she has since she was forced into this kicking and screaming (not really) but for a long time she just wanted to come home, but she forgets that at home she just sat in a chair all day and watched TV or wrote letters and asked me to do everything for her, that is what her life is now, she doesn't try to do anything for herself and now relies on everyone else to do everything for her. when she was at home she relied on me for everything, now my life is a lot less conjested and I can do things when I want and how I want. if I come in from working with my husband and I am so tired I can hardly move I don't have to worry about getting mum fed or toileting her or putting her to bed I can simply sit down till my energy returns. I am over sixty and not in good health myself and it had come to the point where some nights I would have to get mum on the toilet or put her to bed when I was so tired I could hardly walk or even stand myself and I would wonder how much longer I could keep looking after her, well the fire took that decision out of my hands and altho I miss her I don't have to worry about her anymore she is being well looked after and she is in the home where she wanted to go and has now gone back to judaism which she gave up when she married my father during the war. I was very worried about her going to a home as she sufferes with bed sores and they can become infected and she normaly always came home from hospital after her respite with sores. but they are looking after her very well. and altho I was worried about the quilt going missing I am very pleased that it was not more than just not being unpacked.
so if anyone is thinking of looking after a loved one at home and you are able to do so then do so you wont regret it. but if you have to make the decision to put them in a nursing home don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. god bless all those that look after there elderly parents or disabled children,
The truth is that sometimes, no matter how much a family wants to respect their loved ones wishes, it is not within their ability to do so.
there has been a very lively discusion on nursing homes and what people want or don't want and the neads of others. I personaly looked after my mother for 8 years and would continue to do so if the house hadn't burnt to the ground making it impossible to care for her. as she cannot walk or stand at all for the last 6 years life has been very difficult for her and us, I would do it all again in a heartbeat if I could and I don't regret one minute of looking after her. she is now in a nursing home and is starting to look a lot more happy than she has since she was forced into this kicking and screaming (not really) but for a long time she just wanted to come home, but she forgets that at home she just sat in a chair all day and watched TV or wrote letters and asked me to do everything for her, that is what her life is now, she doesn't try to do anything for herself and now relies on everyone else to do everything for her. when she was at home she relied on me for everything, now my life is a lot less conjested and I can do things when I want and how I want. if I come in from working with my husband and I am so tired I can hardly move I don't have to worry about getting mum fed or toileting her or putting her to bed I can simply sit down till my energy returns. I am over sixty and not in good health myself and it had come to the point where some nights I would have to get mum on the toilet or put her to bed when I was so tired I could hardly walk or even stand myself and I would wonder how much longer I could keep looking after her, well the fire took that decision out of my hands and altho I miss her I don't have to worry about her anymore she is being well looked after and she is in the home where she wanted to go and has now gone back to judaism which she gave up when she married my father during the war. I was very worried about her going to a home as she sufferes with bed sores and they can become infected and she normaly always came home from hospital after her respite with sores. but they are looking after her very well. and altho I was worried about the quilt going missing I am very pleased that it was not more than just not being unpacked.
so if anyone is thinking of looking after a loved one at home and you are able to do so then do so you wont regret it. but if you have to make the decision to put them in a nursing home don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. god bless all those that look after there elderly parents or disabled children,
05-26-2011, 06:15 AM
#88
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 727
I doesn't matter if you clearly label anything. All my grandmother's clothing was labeled and within a month she had an entirely different wardrobe in her closet. I would never bring something so important to leave at a nursing home. I brought a nice down blanket for my Grandmother and it was gone within hours. Sorry to say, but the nursing staff and/or aides rummage through everything looking for good stuff. It's a sad fact of life in a nursing home.
If you bring candy, cookies or anything good to eat the nurses would come in and take it. Sometimes that was a good thing, because if you made sure your loved one had goodies in their room, they were "checked on" more often because it would be a good excuse to get a chocolate or a cookie.
If you bring candy, cookies or anything good to eat the nurses would come in and take it. Sometimes that was a good thing, because if you made sure your loved one had goodies in their room, they were "checked on" more often because it would be a good excuse to get a chocolate or a cookie.
05-26-2011, 08:01 AM
#89
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chapel Hill
Posts: 1,086
I am so glad the quilt has been found.
When my Oma moved into Assisted Living, my father eventually purchased a cabinet with a lock on it that only her caregiver had access too. He said the $100 or so spent on the cabinet saved him many hundreds in adult diapers and other sanitary supplies. Staff members would use whatever Dad stocked for her for their other residents as it was just easier to grab those and other family members were not as conscientious about keeping supplies on hand.
Sometimes items disappear with no malice. She did also lose her fair share of clothing - probably some through theft and others from being so soiled it was easier to toss.
K
When my Oma moved into Assisted Living, my father eventually purchased a cabinet with a lock on it that only her caregiver had access too. He said the $100 or so spent on the cabinet saved him many hundreds in adult diapers and other sanitary supplies. Staff members would use whatever Dad stocked for her for their other residents as it was just easier to grab those and other family members were not as conscientious about keeping supplies on hand.
Sometimes items disappear with no malice. She did also lose her fair share of clothing - probably some through theft and others from being so soiled it was easier to toss.
K
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
carolaug
Links and Resources
16
03-22-2012 06:17 AM
sananddandy
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
6
09-10-2010 01:52 PM
