[quote=Buckeye Rose][quote=kaykwilts][quote=QuiltE]KayKwilts ... I totally respect your wish and desire to stay in your home.
The truth is that sometimes, no matter how much a family wants to respect their loved ones wishes, it is not within their ability to do so.
there has been a very lively discusion on nursing homes and what people want or don't want and the neads of others. I personaly looked after my mother for 8 years and would continue to do so if the house hadn't burnt to the ground making it impossible to care for her. as she cannot walk or stand at all for the last 6 years life has been very difficult for her and us, I would do it all again in a heartbeat if I could and I don't regret one minute of looking after her. she is now in a nursing home and is starting to look a lot more happy than she has since she was forced into this kicking and screaming (not really) but for a long time she just wanted to come home, but she forgets that at home she just sat in a chair all day and watched TV or wrote letters and asked me to do everything for her, that is what her life is now, she doesn't try to do anything for herself and now relies on everyone else to do everything for her. when she was at home she relied on me for everything, now my life is a lot less conjested and I can do things when I want and how I want. if I come in from working with my husband and I am so tired I can hardly move I don't have to worry about getting mum fed or toileting her or putting her to bed I can simply sit down till my energy returns. I am over sixty and not in good health myself and it had come to the point where some nights I would have to get mum on the toilet or put her to bed when I was so tired I could hardly walk or even stand myself and I would wonder how much longer I could keep looking after her, well the fire took that decision out of my hands and altho I miss her I don't have to worry about her anymore she is being well looked after and she is in the home where she wanted to go and has now gone back to judaism which she gave up when she married my father during the war. I was very worried about her going to a home as she sufferes with bed sores and they can become infected and she normaly always came home from hospital after her respite with sores. but they are looking after her very well. and altho I was worried about the quilt going missing I am very pleased that it was not more than just not being unpacked.
so if anyone is thinking of looking after a loved one at home and you are able to do so then do so you wont regret it. but if you have to make the decision to put them in a nursing home don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. god bless all those that look after there elderly parents or disabled children,