Smoking is an addiction and harder to stop than heroin. That is why we try to keep kids from starting to smoke. You do your best, know the facts, and when you are ready you will find the will power to quit. I feel so bad for smokers, they basically are left to stand next to the trash in the rain if they need a smoke. I come from a family of smokers, but I have never smoked, I overeat. I am allowed to overeat wherever and whenever I want. I can even overeat while holding a baby. It is an addiction that I do my best to deal with.
You sound like a good mom, you are doing your best and as I always tell my nieces and nephews have your children when you are young. I waited, found and married the right guy and bought the three bedroom home, but you know what - I waited too long and after seven years and losing five tiny babies I gave up. Not posting this for pity - I have a great life with a wonderful husband and three adorable cats, oh and 14 nieces and nephews and nine grand nieces and nephews. I just want you to understand that you did nothing wrong, that woman was probably just having a bad day and wanted to make someone else as unhappy as she is.
So, "God Love Ya'" as my Nana would say and "You do the best you can." Take Care, Maribeth