The only advice I would give, besides that keeping the lines of communication open with your husband is THE MOST important thing you can do...is be careful with these new housing developments. They talk pretty...but make sure they tell you all about the home owners association fees you will probably have to pay ON TOP of your mortgage. And the fact that you will probably have to pass everything by the association right down to what color flowers you can plant by your walkway (and IF you can plant flowers by your walkway.) And the fact that as the development grows, so will your property taxes.
Yep...you guessed it, my Hubster and I bought in a development. The house was amazing and we LOVED it, but we couldn't afford to keep it because of the mounting hidden costs. We lost out big when we tried to sell it. The developer was underselling all the homeowners trying to sell.
However, I think that you shouldn't do too much leg work without including him. This is a decision you BOTH need to make TOGETHER! You need to tell him how you feel. Just cuz he gets upset, doesn't mean there is a problem in your marriage, just means you need to find a more effective way to communicate with him.
Good luck. I share your dream of having a home someday. (We have land...but can't build.)