Hi, I just wanted to say I support you because I know that when a love becomes an addiction we begin to feed the addiction but not find the joy that was part of the initial love.
Its so overwhelming, isn't it? And realizing a change must happen is also overwhelming, I think.
A book that has helped me "rope things in, a little at a time" is Sink Reflections--I am sure you can find it at the library. I have never gotten through the whole house or been able to follow her "plan" but she has some little fixes you can do everyday (maybe 15 or 20 minutes)without making all the "big decisions". Slowly you will see the results you are looking for without the heartbreak. Good luck. Keep us in the loop.