Originally Posted by Jan in VA
Traditional wedding etiquette dictates that the FOG wear can go either way. That's your "official" leg to stand on.
Your son decrees it needs to be tux. That's your parental love decision. Is it worth upsetting him (and her) on their day, and maybe for a long time to come, over the price of a tux rental?
Jan in VA
This was my concern as well...that if Dad doesn't wear a tux, it will cause a stumbling block for years to come. And since we already have had a run in with her parents a couple of years ago...and my son decided to weasel out of the lies he was telling by telling her parents that I was crazy and emotionally unstable.....well, there is already a fire there...And they are attempting to blend two cultures here, as she is full Hispanic, and her mother speaks no English (and if you saw my son, he is tall, skinny, and very blond!!).....and at this point, we still have five children left to, hopefully, someday marry. If one of these five decides to have a traditional wedding, we will have to face a tux rental again. And what if our finances are in a better place then??(which, of course, we all hope for!!)......and Dad goes with the tux, and then what??? Offense time again!!
What the final decision came down to yesterday was we went with the tux rental.....charged it on a card that pushed the usage up to about 85% of the credit limit....this is something that we DO NOT normally do..as we consider all cards at their limits when they reach 45% of their credit limit. (that way we don't overspend) I am not sure how I am going to pay this off, but somehow I will think of something. Christmas gifts will be more at a minimum this year..that's for sure!!
Thank you all for your input and advise. Truth be told, I am just ready for this year to be over. The first son that married in April did so way too young (barely 19, she was barely 18), against our expressed wishes, and without our consent and agreement (which I realize in this day and age means very little)....it was a difficult day, eased only by having the Friendship Album squares there to have the guests sign. Now with this wedding coming up next week, I am looking at having to be around her family, who all think I am a nut job, and watch this son marry and hope he will be happy. (We have tried to talk to our son several times about all that happened two yrs ago, he refuses to talk about it...but to set the "record" straight, we have the proof that he was lying to us. We have finally given up on ever getting that situation all worked out).....I plan to just smile and be polite on August 11 and 12th, do my "job" as MOG.....grit my teeth and just get through it. I have decided August 13th is my New Year's Day....(and another son's birthday)....this is our last big "hurrah" with this son, and once it's over, we will not be helping him again financially. I truly cannot wait for the 13th to get here.
Anyway, thank you all....I really appreciate your advise and insight...you guys all help me think clearer, feel not so alone, and make me smile. Thank you, thank you, thank you......