Originally Posted by noveltyjunkie
Oh dear. Weddings. The stress of dealing with one family multiplies when dealing with two!
I was going to suggest buying a second hand tux but I am glad to see that you have worked something out. Since this is obviously placing a financial strain on you, I would take the price of the suit rental off what I was going to spend on their wedding gift.
Where I got married, many bridal parties wore rental morning suit (ie tails and top hats and cravats). I told my husband that under no circumstances was I going to marry him wearing something he did not own. Likewise I knew my father would prefer to wear his own clothes (DH Dad's was not alive to attend.) LOL he was happy to get a new outfit that he could keep and wear again. I think it is nice to "be yourself" when you get married and I always regret seeing people who have been required to wear something they don't feel comfortable in. But weddings seem to bring that streak out in people!
I agree....weddings seem to be the time to bring out in people who they really are not...when DH and I married 32 yrs ago, we wore bluejeans, gauze embroidered shirts, bare feet, flowers in my hair, in front of a Christmas tree in the middle of a blizzard.....a true "hippie" wedding. And it was totally us at the time. DH still has hair down to his waist to this day!! This son that is marrying is all about appearances. Always wants to look good, always trying to distract people from any character flaws by the "good looks"...whether it's in the clothes he wears, the car he drives, or the guitar he plays. I am not sure where this came from, as that is not the way he was raised, but we just keep figuring that one day, he'll figure it out, relax and be himself. As far as the bride goes, I think she is the baby of the family (can you tell we really don't know her very well?? Our son decided we weren't worth his time for us to get to know her very well, and then the one time I could arrange with her family to let her come to our place for a family get together (and I planned it three months in advance) the dad sabotaged it and arranged his own family get together, and they had to leave early!!) and since she is the baby, I think they are wanting a big deal of the wedding. However, they are insisting that my son foot some of the bill for the wedding, and I know for a fact that he will have to borrow money from them just to pay for the flowers and such....to us, this is a terrible way to start off a marriage....in debt to your in-laws!!!! But there is no talking to this son....our opinion doesn't count or matter.
So like I said, I will go, DH will be in a tux, we are now deeper in debt, and this is the last time we will help this son on in any way...
Waiting anxiously for August 13th...my new year's day!!
k
ps...and as much as it breaks our hearts to admit this...DH and I don't really expect this marriage to last....we don't believe that our son's character flaws along with her overbearing and controlling father will allow this marriage to make it....I wish I could say I know who she is, but I can't.....Of course, we will NEVER say any of this to our son, all words as soon as the "I do" is said is support to find answers to work things out, and our son, nor her, will ever know how we really feel.....but with the divorce rate so high now-a-days, we just don't think these two have much of a chance. Maybe they will surprise us...maybe they won't....believe me when I say that we the smiles we have that day will not be from joy, as much as relief that our "obligation" to help this son is over.......such a sad way to feel when a child you love so much is taking a "rite of passage".......but what's a parent to do?????