omak

You have your hands full with the ADHD child, financial downturn, four kids, and a hobby you don't want to do, along with all the other things going on in your life that you haven't told us. I have been where you are a number of times in my life (without the adhd situation), and I would like to share some of the things I have practiced to get out of the rut of depression.
I lived in the middle of a big city, without even the ability to afford a thrift store, four children, and a husband that went to work faithfully, but didn't like me or the kids very much. I think I was the loneliest because with all the population around me, there was no one that had the outlook on life that I possessed (before I started going back to church, that is). I considered the situation, and because of the children, I couldn't just give up ... sometimes, it seems as though "I MUST be all right - - I am STILL breathing!" (One must always look for the positive :D )
SOmetimes, I had to practice what I didn't feel like doing. I had worked in a nursing home and noticed that older people would starve to death because they didn't FEEL like eating - - deciding what HAS to be done and then DOING it, no matter how small and insignificant is better than sitting there and NEVER accomplishing something.
Everything you do that makes life better for your family deserves your personal celebration ... it is a matter of perspective - - you can look at the things you cannot do and think "I am a waste of time = depression" ... or, you can look at what you CAN do and be proud of everything you can accomplish.
It happened that when my first life lesson was going on, the BiCentennial occurred ... and I began to think about the things and people who made America the best, greatest nation in the world. In that thinking, I considered my forefathers and foremothers who lived out in the prairie with ONLY their family for company. None of the input that we have in today's world - - even back in the 70's we had radio and televison <g>.
And, yet ... those who came before us, enduring months of isolation within just their family units produced GOOD American citizens. Independent thinking citizens who continued to contribute to our nation's growth.
So, rather than look around me and think of how different I was from everyone else and being bitter because they wouldn't get on the bandwagon, I CHOSE (we ALWAYS have a choice) to PRETEND (I may not be creative, but I do have an imagination! :-o ) ... I chose to pretend that I lived in the late eighteen hundreds, out in the middle of nowhere ... If women had done it in centuries past, I surely could accomplish as much.
When it became very obvious that my first husband really didn't like us very much, I delved back into my historical perceptions and realized there were a LOT of single women who had raised GOOD American citizens ... If they could do it, then I knew it could be done .. I just needed to decide to do it ...
In other words, I selected role models for myself that showed me how to put one foot in front of the other. It helped that my mother had taught me what to do with children who are too healthy, intelligent, and capable to be kept safely playing on the floor. Put them to work! After all - - it is our responsibility to teach our children how to be independent ... it is never too early to teach them to contribute to the well-being of the family.
No, it is not easy to be lonely, depressed, stressed out over money issues, struggling with what kind of a woman you are going to become, and making sure that everyone who depends on you gets at least the basics of what they need. But generations of women have done it before us ... most of them very successfully ... we can ponder the failures or we can seek out the successful - - it really is our choice.
So, I pretended to be out in the prairie in the middle of nowhere with no one around but me to figure out what my family would do to get through to the next day.
Then, my grandpa taught me the FIVE MINUTE RULE.
I will get back with that when I come back in from changing watering systems.
Just consider this - - MILLIONS of women have gone through EXACTLY what you are dealing with WITHOUT having all the options you have ... if they could do it, so can you ... do not allow someone's "diagnosis" ever dictate what will happen next ... circumstances happen - - what YOU do during those times will define who you are and what you are capable of.
Many have never found out how capable they truly are because they don't believe that they are bigger than the circumstances .... and, sometimes, just surviving the moment is a grander success than lots of bucks, time, and energy. If you are still breathing, you still have life, and that means God is not done working in your life. If He isn't giving up on you ... don't you be giving up on yourself.
I know these are cliches ... people say them without even thinking ... but I personally have experienced all I am sharing with you ... and some things you just have to have someone say over and over and over again until they become real to you .... it is what you are telling yourself about anything that will change life and living ... make sure the input you are feeding on is constructive and not debilitating.