I don't generaly beat myself up over anything...but I also don't have anyone I can really talk to...all my friends tend to talk more than listen..and "hubby" works full time, goes to school full time, and has countless health issues right now himself...he doesn't have the time or energy to listen....I'm use to being the fondation and taking care of everything..I think just not having been able to get anything out into the open and talked about is just weighing on me to hard.