When mine were that young I would split them up, 2 in 2 different rooms, I would play/give them some attention and then switch them around in pairs to play and then together for a while.
This is a trick I used when ANY young kids have been in my care...if they bicker they sit facing each other on the floor with their legs crossed and hands on their knees, I tell them you will do this until you can be friendly with each other, and they have to lean in noses or foreheads touching. Yes they do fuss for a while, but when they see each other's crossed eyes, they usually start giggling after a couple of minutes and I ask "friends again?" and they are up on their happy way. If it takes me 10 minutes of sitting and calmly supervising them, ok. After a few times they realize I mean business and just the threat of saying "knees to knees, toes toes" would settle some of bickering right down.
No matter which way you choose to go, it will take you being calm and consistent to get them to behave or change behaviors. They pick up on your emotions, you are stressed...they will crank it up too....Ya gotta try and fool them into thinking you are calm cool and collected...then go into another room and scream into a pillow :wink: :wink: :wink:
Maybe you and your husband can pick a couple days a week for 30-60 minutes of me time...I know he is busy, but I would tell him it is better to give me some time in increments now, then you having them full time and working and school while I am in the looney bin....cause that's where I am heading now :shock: :wink: :wink: