Take care and make descisions when things calm down...confusion, and questions, join a support group. Many people do not realize how hard it is to start over later in life...i was 49, married at 17, my whole life was for him. Living is a true blessing, important now, you will make it through. Stay strong in mind, one hour at a time. Nothing wrong with speaking out. Step 1, why me? Step 2, anger Step 3, healing.
Each day, awake and think positive thoughts for you! Start a small quilt for YOU...to comfort you.