I think you have been given lots of advice here which I agree with. I had a cousing who lost a baby at birth and also lost a twin in utero in another pregnancy and for her there was a mixed time of her not wanting family to say anything at the very start to moving to feeling hurt that family didn't acknowledge her lost ones later on, so people can change. I would suggest to stick with your original plan and if you sense that she isn't going to go that way at the start but changes her mind later she will be so pleased you continued with your project, so either way you will both be winners. Sorry for the loss.