Originally Posted by RenaB
I would get it straight from the one that matters the most, the mother. Tell her exactly what you told us and tell her u want to respect her wishes.
I think she woukd appreciate and respect that u cared enough to ask.
If it was me, personally, I would want the memory of the twin that was lost to continue. The twin that lived will want to remember the memory of the brother that once shared a bond with him.
I agree with RenaB: I think you should check with the parents before finishing the Noah's Ark quilt. I realize that the twin that passed away, will never be forgotten. We lost our first child in 1970. He has never been forgotten. Time has helped heal the pain, but I always remember him on his birthdate, even though he only lived a few hours, he will never be forgotten. My other two were not told until they were in High School, both were sort of angry about not knowing at first, but I wanted them both to be old enough to understand and remember that they were told about him. Sometimes when children are very young and are told about something that is painful like death they shut it out or push it back in their memory.Both are now pleased to know that they did have an older brother.
I think you might want to make a separate quilt for the surviving twin, and make the wall hanging later according to the parents' wishes.