You remind me of my (late) mother in SC. My dad was an alcoholic, but mom didn't take any crap and she too had a few cast iron pans. We never had alot of $$$, but I sure learned not to take any type of abuse from a man....And I would never have married my DH had he been a drinker or showed any type of abusive behavior. Now...he buys what he wants and I do the same. It works great that way! 28+ years now and I have no reason to ask permission to buy anything that brings me happiness as long as it doesn't involve a bank loan and I can find a place in the house for it.
Life is good!