TWO husbands later.. I FINALLY grew up...wised up ... and figured this out. Not to launch into hours of psychobabble, but a lot of this can stem from what kind of dad's we had. My father (God rest his soul) was an overbearing, dominant jackass. My mom...(God rest her soul) was a sweet door mat - oppressed to her core. Dad always had every man toy known to mankind but my mom would have to BEG for a new clothes washer (and grocery money) while trying to raise 4 kids...etc. Anyhow.. my two husbands were just like my dad. One time when moving my second husband walked into my craft room and announced "I am NOT moving this *hit*.. get rid of it"...and like a BIG dummy.. I DID. I gave a car load of fabric to a friend who sewed quilts for the Linus project. So... 7 years later.. (when my kids got a little older) I gutted up and divorced him. I had completely patterned my behaviors after what I learned from my mom. My dad just plowed her over emotionally at every turn. It was very sad. I have been single for 11 years now, but living with a great guy for the last 6. I won't get married again. We call each other husband and wife, but we are not married. I am too afraid to ever stick my neck in that noose again. We have each other protected financially and legally.
BUT BUT... the man I'm with now happily follows me around fabric/craft stores, and every vacation we have ever taken he knows I'm plumbing my personal "shop hop stops" into the GPS. He gets a kick out of my hobbies, and often comes in and admires what I'm doing. He was farmed raised, and had good values instilled into him as a kid. His parents were loving and kind to each other (that's a HUGE KEY). He's respectful of his siblings and vice versa. It was a pleasant surprise to KNOW there were really men out there like this. I indeed saved the BEST for last.
Having put up with 30 years of rotten husbands I understand WHY some women stay (they honestly don't understand they can leave and not only survive - they will THRIVE). If they only knew that life is SOOOO much better if you break away from that insanity.
Been there... done that.. and out of the blue...a 5 star man popped into my life. Life is good!